Friday, August 05, 2011

My path to peace starts with forgiveness

I have been reading through The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace over the last couple of days.  It seems to be inspiring me.  I do love to be inspired.  I believe it has many similar points as Created to be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl.  However, the former doesn't leave me feeling somewhat like a traumatized victim the way the latter did.  I really like the approach Mrs. Peace takes in her book; it really appeals to me on several levels.  The scholar in me really appreciates her thorough researched presentation.  The 'emotional' part of me really connects with the common sense, practical recommendations she lays out. 

I know I am never finished growing and changing.  That's a good thing.  And I have not been happy with me as of late.  Not happy with myself as a wife, as a mother, as a home educator, as a friend.  Well, youget the idea here.  I have read the second book in the past and was nearly overwhelmed with depression because of it.  I wanted the marriage relationship she described overall.  However, there was so much more to my issue that I couldn't relate to what she was saying and suggesting at the time.

I have pursued various paths of emotional and inner healing.  Some with great revelation proving to be very powerful in my life.  Some only seeming to add to the self-focus and, in-turn, the fear and self-judgement.  I think there is purpose to all of these areas of my journey with Jesus.  I believe He is completing the good work He began in me. 

I do believe much of the unhappiness I feel I have experienced over the last year, year and a half is and has been due in large part to my own selfishness.  It's like I've been trapped in it and couldn't get out but didn't know it.  Sounds silly, huh?  Seems like it MUST be more complicated than that; there MUST be more to it. 

Maybe.  Maybe not.

I am an intelligent person.  I can learn.  I can teach others.  I can see pitfalls.  I can teach my children to learn not to be self-centered (it's on-going!).  It would seem I am smart enough to not allow myself to get caught in the the self-pity trap; to not allow myself to wallow in it, along with hurt, bitterness, anger, and dare I say, rebellion, at my own hand no less.  Ridiculous!

But... it just may be so.

I look back over time and I can put my finger on several events, instances, situations where I was a victim to someone else's infliction of pain and hurt.  Some done out of malice, some unintentional.  Some I did nothing to deserve the infraction, some I incurred in some way. 

So, overall, I have reasons, rights even, to be hurt.  Right?  Maybe.

So what's the problem?  Why am I the one who is miserable?  Don't I have the right to feel hurt?  Isn't that normal?  To be upset with someone, confused and hurt by their words or actions...

What I really don't have the 'right' to do is respond the way I have.  I mean, obviously I have the ability to choose any response and reaction I wish.  And I have.  For the most part, I chose (maybe subconsciously, without even thinking it through, which may be worse) the easiest human response that came my way.

I have virtually held myself and the 'perpetrators' emotionally hostage in my heart and in my mind at the very least, and sometimes verbally and beyond.  What 'right' do I have to do that?  And what good has it done?

I claim to be a Bible-believing follower of God.  This same Bible tells me that Jesus, my Savior, taught that the greatest commandment I am to follow is "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and with all your mind" in Matthew 22:36-40.  In this same passage, Jesus also gives the second greatest commandment, "Love your neighbor as yourself."  He said all the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.  So everything else fits under these two.  Seems simple enough.

If these are my commandments to follow, not my friendly suggestions, did my responses that I had 'rights' to have follow suit within these directives?  I don't think so.

It isn't loving to let hurt linger.  Letting hurt linger is called bitterness.  Allowing bitterness a place in your heart / emotions is called resentment.  Leaving resentment a spot on the shelf of your heart gives an open door to anger who often holds hands with rebellion.  All of this commonly gives way to idolatry.  Yikes!

God's plan for provision and for peace often seems quite opposite and contrary to human thinking, human reasoning, and natural human emotion/ reaction.  Holding on to hurts didn't bring me peace.  In fact, I can't think of any good thing that has come of it!  It has, however, brought me to quite the opposite place.  God's design has purpose.  He said what He said and did what He did with purpose by design.

You know some of the design of God's plan that seem to be in opposition to the human condition:  forgive those who trespass against you, love your enemy, the first shall be last, give and you shall receive, etc. 

These principles, and others, really aren't what we're taught overall in our culture.  They're not normally what we see modeled by our fellow man in society at large.  But I believe what the Bible says is true.  And if I do, then I don't really have the 'right' to ignore these commandments, these instructions. 

What is the correct response in order to love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind and to love my neighbor as myself?  That's a really BIG question whose answer(s) are undoubtedly multi-faceted.  But for me, right now, where I am, I think I can sum it up in one word.

Forgiveness.

-the act of pardoning someone for a mistake or wrong-doing.  Pardon, absolution, reconciliation, amnesty, exoneration, clemency, mercy.  I'll even add liberation to this list of synonyms. 

Acts 8:21-23 ...v23 For I see that you are full of birtterness and captive to sin.
    I have even used the word captive to describe how I have felt.  I put myself in captivity.
II Corinthians 2:5-11 ...v7-8 you ought to forgive and comfort him (who has caused you grief), so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow... reaffirm your love for him... v10(b) I have forgiven in the sight of Christ..., v11 in order that Satan might not outwit us.
    Talk about opposite thinking.  Forgive and comfort your perpetrator?  Wow.
Colossians 3:5-11, 12-14 Therefore, ... clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. ... And overall these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. 
    The love / forgiveness connection.
Ephesians 4:30-32 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit... get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other...
    Is it possible holding on to hurt is a form of malice?

Monday, July 25, 2011

Heartburn in Pregnancy and What To Do About It

I have had some pregnancies with no relief from heartburn and at least one in which it was hardly an issue.  So, what's the diference?  Some will tell you it is how much hair your baby has.  And after Kynzie was born with a very full head of hair, I thought it might be true!  But since then, I've started to have my doubts.

I have had plenty of time to experiment with various remedies.  I thought I would list some of my findings here.

Some of the obvious, easy ones are drinking enough water and eating small meals at regular and more frequent intervals, preferably with plenty of protein.  Another given - some regular exercise.  Walking, swimming, etc.  Some regular movement. 

Also, the method of treating your heartburn depends on why you have it... are you not producing enough acids, or are you producing too many?  I have not learned really how to tell the difference, so it has been by trial and error finding relief.

1) Chewing on some gum... I reccomend xylitol gum.  There used to be a heartburn gum on the market when I was pregnant with Kynzie (over seven years ago) that I used with great success.  Two years later when I was pregnant with Max, they didn't sell that gum anymore.  So, I started to experiment with other chewing gums.  I guess the premise is that it helps stimulate acids to help break down the food.  Pregnancy often slows down digestion.

2) Paypaya or other enzyme tablets - these have been life savers for me at some points.  I buy the chewable, but as with any chewable tablet, there is always a sweetner, so watch out for corn syrups as well as artificial sweetners. 

3) I have used milk or yogurt successfully as well as...

4) Apple Cider Vinegar (Bragg's).  Two seemingly opposite ends of the specturm, milk and vinegar, but again maybe it is due to my heartburn being caused by different problems at different times?

5) Lastly, I have a theory.  I believe that if you become constipated (which also seems to plague many pregnant women), you will have more hearburn.  I have used psyllium husk for this with great success.  Some have told me psyllium husks cause them to have stomach cramps.  I am not sure, but possibly this is a sign it is doing what it is supposed to??  Not sure, though, as it doesn't give me cramps. 

I have heard some use slippery elm bark instead of psyllium husks.

This last point is also helped by regular exercise and a healthy food plan (Bradley or better!) and plenty of water.  Eliminate white sugar and flour, and add fiber where you can!

Thursday, July 07, 2011

Tacos, Skillet Cornbread, and Five Cup Salad Menu Plan

Taco night is a night that doesn't seem to happen often enough at our house.  Likely because I make it elaborate, or so I am told.  Here is our ideal "recipe".  We use what we might have available.

2 lbs ground beef
Taco seasoning for 2 lbs meat
1 green pepper
1 red pepper
1 sweet or red onion
1 can black olives, sliced
Chopped lettuce
2 cups cheddar or Mexican cheese, shredded
1-2 medium Roma tomatoes
Tortilla chips, soft shells, hard shells, as desired
Salsa, sour cream, avocado or guacamole
Cilantro
Brown ground beef; drain. Season with taco seasoning. Chop toppings to small, diced pieces. Serve on your choice of hard or soft shells, or over tortilla chips.

I have learned to forgo the Mexican rice since no one but me really ate it anyway.  But we have found a cornbread recipe that we enjoy.
 
Skillet Cornbread
1 cup cornmeal
1 cup flour
1/4 cup sugar, or sub ¼ c maple syrup!
3 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1/4 cup olive oil (I like to use butter, and have used applesauce successfully in the cornbread – not for “greasing” the skillet)
1 cup milk
1 egg
1 can corn, drained (optional, we leave this out)
Preheat oven to 425°F. Put half of the olive oil in a 9x9x2 cast iron skillet and preheat in oven without burning oil. Mix all remaining ingredients in a bowl. Pour batter into preheated cast iron skillet and bake for 20-25 minutes or until done.
Note: if you do not have a cast iron skillet, spray a pan with non-stick spray and mix all of the olive oil into the batter. Do not preheat your pan if it isn't cast iron.

I plan to serve this with the salad below or some variation thereof.  This was a recipe my mom made when we were kids.

Five Cup Salad
(Really, you can use any 5 cups of fruit and sauce you want!)
1 cup pineapple, fresh or chunk canned
1 cup mandarin oranges
1 cup sour cream (some recipes say whipped topping, but not for me. May try plain yogurt, though)
1 cup mini marshmallows
1 cup maraschino cherries (I would prefer to lose the marshmallows and use coconut.)
Mix all ingredients.  Cover and chill before serving.

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Peanut Chicken Recipe and Menu Plan

Originally, I had been looking for a copy-cat recipe of Cheesecake Factory's Bang Bang Chicken and Shrimp (minus the shrimp for me) to make at home when I came across this recipe.  It was actually a recipe someone on the Menus 4 Moms boards shared.  I have tweaked it to our family's liking. 

I have since found copy-cat recipes for the Bang Bang Chicken, and I am anxious to give that a try.  But we will likely keep this favorite on our menu rotation for now. 

Oh, something else about my cooking... I don't measure most of the time.  I also don't remember from one time to the next how I have tweaked a recipe and whether we liked it better or not.  It drives my family mad.  But it is all part of the creative process for me!  I am trying to make notes here and there because I do want to pass the recipes on to my kids as well. 

Someday, I hope to even add pictures!  Ooohhh!

Peanut Chicken
1 can coconut milk
1/2 cup peanut butter, creamy seems to be best
1/2 cup vinegar, we typically use Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar
1/2 cup soy sauce, tamari, or Bragg's Liquid Amino's
1/4 cup brown sugar or Sucanat
1/2 - 1 tsp ginger, ground
1/8 tsp red pepper flakes, more if you like more heat
2-4 garlic cloves, minced
2.5 cups chicken, cooked and diced
1.5 cups rice, quinoa, etc. or a blend (you may want to use additional coconut milk and/or broth in place of the water to cook the rice for flavor)
2 T coconut oil
Carrots, julienned
Zucchini (or Cucumber), julienned
Shredded coconut
Chopped peanuts
Green onions, sliced


Put rice on to cook.



Heat first eight ingredients in heavy saucepan until mixed and bubbly; stirring frequently.  Then add chicken.


While sauce heats, slice green onions, carrots and zucchini or cucumber. These are best ice cold.


To serve, scoop rice onto each plate and top with chicken and sauce. Top liberally with onions, cucumbers, carrots, coconut and peanuts. 


Notes: for presentation, it works nicely to scoop rice into a small bowl, packed tightly.  Place the plate on top of the bowl upside down.  Flip bowl and plate together, then lift the bowl, leaving the rice in a nice rounded mound.  Then spoon chicken and sauce over and around rice.  Then top with the carrots, coconut, peanuts, etc. 

Also, we double the sauce for our family. 

We often serve this with a stir-fry veggie medley (broccoli, carrots, sugar snap peas, maybe squash or peppers, and onions, chopped and 'wokked' in a little butter and lemon juice, please!).  When we have dessert on Peanut Chicken night, I like the Mandarin Napoleons from Robin Miller.  Yum!  (We double this recipe as well.  The sugared, baked won tons are so yummy all by themselves as well!)

A Month of Menus

I am trying to plan a Basic Menu that I can use over and over.  It is not necessarily ideal for my preferences.  I enjoy finding and trying new recipes often, and I feel a bit stifled when I think I am using the same menus month after month.  However, in this season of life, I decided I NEED a default plan in place.  I have in the past cooked meals for a couple weeks at a time.  The end result was awesome!  But I just can't seem to get my act together enough to make it happen again.  It will.  It will.  I also feel I have missed several opportunities to take meals to families in times of need because I can barely even make a meal successfully for my own family!  Yipes. 

So, here, in no particular order, are several meals (I don't think I am up to 30 yet).  I will add lunches and breakfasts and maybe even snacks as I go along.  But one thing at a time... 
Some of these are not as healthy as I would like, but we are working up to healthier.

1- Homemade pizzas (crusts are easy enough to make ahead and freeze)
2- Tacos
3- Fruity Curried Chicken
4- Peppy Pizza Pasta
5- BBQ Beef Sandwiches
6- Spanikopta
7- French Toast and Turkey Bacon (for dinner)
8- Gyros
9- Baked Chicken & Cheese Enchiladas
10- Peanut Chicken
11- Lasagna (Once a Month Cooking recipe)
12- Crock pot Sloppy Joe's
13- Grilled Cheese & Tomato-Basil Soup
14- Hamburgers
15- Pot Roast
16- Taco Bake
17- Sweet n Sour Chicken with Fried Rice
18- Spaghetti Pizza
19- Hearty Hamburger Tomato Stew (this is a spin off of the Once a Month Cooking recipe)
20- Chicken Pot Pie (Pioneer Woman Cooks)
21- Pancakes and Turkey Bacon
22- Sweet n Sour Crock pot Meatballs
23- Quesadillas
24- Our Favorite Meatloaf
25- Chicken Lasagna
26- Tortilla Chicken Soup
27- Cheeseburger Casserole
28- Pizza Rollups

That's all I have so far.  I plan to add in the sides to this list as time goes by, but don't hold your breath.  Those who know me, know how I am at blogging!

Monday, May 09, 2011

I Love That Boy!

Tomorrow, my oldest son will be five years old.  I love to remember his birth story.  It was the first and only birth where no other friends or family were present except Scott.  It was fast, and for a harrowing few moments, we thought it was going to be grave.  But, thankfully, God had a different plan for Max.  As the story goes, Max made his appearance as Mommy was beginning to be wheeled to surgery for an emergency cesarean.  I am not sure the nurses believed me at first when I said "he's coming!"  But after a quick peek under the blankets, they put my bed back in its place in the labor room and began calling for the doctor to head back to our room!  Max was born within minutes.  Such joy and relief! 

Max has requested candy cereal for his breakfast in bed tomorrow, pancakes for lunch, and Cheeseburger Casserole for dinner.  He doesn't really care for sweets, so I couldn't really get him to pinpoint a dessert.  He likes Popsicles, though.  Maybe I'll surprise him with Popsicles.  Hmmm, can't really stick a candle in one of those, can ya?  Well, maybe his candles will go in his casserole!

He is such a loving little boy.  He is always excited for the new baby (ies) when I am pregnant, and this time is no different.  He hugs and kisses the baby (aka my belly) and talks to his sibling.  It is precious.  He wants to be brave and courageous.  He has a heart to be a warrior and a protector.  I love these things about him.  I know God put these things in him to be used in marvelous ways as he grows older.  I pray God teaches Scott and I how to nurture the good and weed out the bad in his life.



Thursday, December 02, 2010

Testing Technology

Just a quick test to see how well this interconnecting interfaces works. It seems like only yesterday I was typing a Christmas-like letter on a Panosonic electric "personal" typewriter, using actual typing paper, to take it to Kinkos for photocopying. I had to literally paste the photos in place. Amazing!

This year I am signing up to take an online webinar on some supposed newfangled online delivery system for such newsletter type communication. Guess we'll see if it's on the up & up or just a sales pitch for something I don't need!

Well, one step at a time; let's see whether this makes it to my blog first!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

God the Creator... of YOU!

Did you know Earth Day is coming up? If you turned your TV on at all today you do. Even PBS is having some special day of Earth friendly cartoons or something that day. I am all for being good stewards of planet Earth. I believe we have God-given responsibilities to do so, in fact. However, I have a problem when we start to worship the creation and not the Creator.

There are so many little things in creation that point to an amazing creator. Just watch any of the "Wonders of God's Creation" DVD series. The intricate details of nature boast of the glory of God.

Interestingly enough, my devotional for today is entitled "God as Creator". Seeing God as the Creator means that there is purpose for your life. He created you. You didn't just happen. He planned your hair color, your eye color, height, bone structure, and so much more. Isn't that good news? I was created with a plan and a purpose!

Also, as a being created with a plan and purpose in mind by a Creator, I have inherited, if you will, the Father's creativity in some way. Now, I used to believe that I was the least creative person on Earth. I don't have a penchant for anything to do with art or scrapbooking or decorating or hairdos. But, I know that He imparted some sort of creativity in me because we are created in His likeness.

So, what floats my boat? What is it that energizes me? What activities allow me to feel God's pleasure? Eric Liddell, Olympic Gold Medalist, said he felt God's pleasure when he ran. He believed that to be a gift God gave him. What about me, then? Maybe unconventional creativity, but I love to plan, organize, be resourceful, give things to people who need them, and have social activities. When I have had time, I also have enjoyed writing, photography, cake decorating, and putting floral arrangements together.

When I think of these talents as God-created, I am more thankful for these natural bents. What are yours? What about your kids'?