Plans to give me hope...

I say I trust in God. And I mean it to varying degrees each time I say it or think it or pray it. I think He is calling me to a deeper place yet again. Growing pains hurt. Especially spiritual growing pains.

I have spent several days sitting around having a it of a pity party for myself. You see, I feel like I have worked really hard toward certain goals lately, and I have come so close to achieving those certain goals. But I've been blocked. I can't see the goals on the horizon anymore.

I feel like I have been diligent in particular areas, and now, right before what should be the payoff, it is cutoff. So, I have asked God why. I have whined about it. I have tried to figure ways around it. But all I needed to do was say okay God, you know what is ahead... you lead the way, and I will follow you. I trust you.

It is so simple, but yet so difficult. I have to get out of my own way. Lay down my plans. Throw out my carefully laid out plans. That is really hard to do sometimes. But it brings so much peace to let go and let God take the lead in your life. It isn't the way of this world; It almost seems backwards. Let go and you have peace? You should have a plan to have peace.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future..."

Because of things in my past, it is sometimes difficult for me to believe that people don't have ulterior motives. I don't want it to be that way, and God has done much healing in this area, but I have become painfully aware that I still operate in this broken way, even toward God.

But His word says His plans are to prosper me and not to harm me. I believe it. I believe He is calling me to believe it on a new and deeper level. So, I lay down my best laid plans, and say, Yes Lord, I trust you.